Survival of the fattest
Breakfast: one glass solutions orange juice
two peices wholewheat toast
One low fat cheese slice
some veggie egg beater fried in the non-stick frying pan.
Mental state: I wish I was still in bed but it's jeans day at work so I got up.
I had a thought today about all this self-hate business and about how the hating actually begins before I eat the food by the choices I make. It's almost as if I want an excuse to hate myself. Now If I could just realise that everytime I sit down to make a food choice.
I wish I could stick with something, anything. I am doing pretty good with going to the gym. I'm going on almost 2 months of regular working out. I was beginning to get dicouraged but then yesterday I started seeing some muscles developing. I know, 2 months is a long time to wait to see muscles but there's ALOT of fat over them. I noticed my pants were fitting differently too but so far that scale at the gym has not moved. It's stuck stubbornly at 288. That may have something to do with my eating but one thing at once people! I don't respond well to changes like that.
When my parentals were in town, my father bitched me out repeatedly about my weight and my food choices. Never mind that I'd recently lost 20lbs and was ordering grilled chicken while he got the greasy cheeseburger and fries. Taking criticsm from him is the pot calling the kettle black. He told me I have a problem with portion control meanwhile he's secretly been stealing peices of pie from the fridge. I really need to develop a thicker skin when I am around him.
two peices wholewheat toast
One low fat cheese slice
some veggie egg beater fried in the non-stick frying pan.
Mental state: I wish I was still in bed but it's jeans day at work so I got up.
I had a thought today about all this self-hate business and about how the hating actually begins before I eat the food by the choices I make. It's almost as if I want an excuse to hate myself. Now If I could just realise that everytime I sit down to make a food choice.
I wish I could stick with something, anything. I am doing pretty good with going to the gym. I'm going on almost 2 months of regular working out. I was beginning to get dicouraged but then yesterday I started seeing some muscles developing. I know, 2 months is a long time to wait to see muscles but there's ALOT of fat over them. I noticed my pants were fitting differently too but so far that scale at the gym has not moved. It's stuck stubbornly at 288. That may have something to do with my eating but one thing at once people! I don't respond well to changes like that.
When my parentals were in town, my father bitched me out repeatedly about my weight and my food choices. Never mind that I'd recently lost 20lbs and was ordering grilled chicken while he got the greasy cheeseburger and fries. Taking criticsm from him is the pot calling the kettle black. He told me I have a problem with portion control meanwhile he's secretly been stealing peices of pie from the fridge. I really need to develop a thicker skin when I am around him.
posted by Dealing with it at 3:05 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home