I have difficulty contemplating the infinate

Is it any wonder that the world just plain depresses me?

Why do I alternate between, "I'm the only one who feels like this" and "Everyone must feel like this, they just do a better job managing their fear"?

Tonight at the gym there was a girl in the shower stall next to mine and I thought " I bet she sees my feet under the stall and thinks there's a skinny girl in the stall next to her." Then I looked down at my sagging fat and hated myself for a little bit. I came home and ate a bowl of cereal with freeze dried strawberries and hated myself some more, but I released the hate momentarily to compliment myself on the choice of cereal rather than a filet-o-fish.