Lie to me, I promise I'll Believe
Supper: Homeade ceasar salad with low fat dressing
Blue Menu pizza 1 and half slices.
Absolutely no chocolate or icecream (no seriously, none)
Late night snack: Kashi, Special K red Berries and Multigrain Cheerios with milk and freeze dried strawberries. I so wish this was chocolate and ice cream.
I had to go out tonight to buy a floor lamp. Ours got broken this week and what a tragedy because I had no idea I was such a floor lamp snob. I went to three different stores and couldn't find a single one that I like or fit my budget. My current budget being virtually nothing. My current tastes being incredibly expensive.
On the way home I wished my brain was a computer so that I could make notes in my head while driving (or doing many other of my daily tasks) and actually be able to recall them later. Having babies steals your brains people! I thought of some things I needed to put together for my settlement proposal. Of course, now that I am at home at my desk can I remember what those things are? No. It's so bad that when I went the grocery store I made a mental note on my way in to pick up something but by the time I'd walked to the dairy aisle I couldn't for the life of me remember what it was. I bought 2 creme eggs and gave them to the H man when I got home, but I'm sure that wasn't what I was supposed to remember.
When I pulled in the driveway at home I paused before getting out of the car to sing along with the radio for a few minutes. While I sat there I closed my eyes and had a brief moment of panic that the world disappeared. When I opened my eyes it was still there so I tried closing them again and the panic feeling was there. Even though I had my keys in my hand and could feel the steering wheel I still thought everything was gone.
Somedays when I get home from work, Monk is in his room napping. I have to actually open the door and see him to convince myself that he is actually there. I wish I could stop thinking like that. I know these moments of unecessary panic are shortening my life.
How's this for ego, I hate myself and yet I often assume that things outside my visual range no longer exsist?
Blue Menu pizza 1 and half slices.
Absolutely no chocolate or icecream (no seriously, none)
Late night snack: Kashi, Special K red Berries and Multigrain Cheerios with milk and freeze dried strawberries. I so wish this was chocolate and ice cream.
I had to go out tonight to buy a floor lamp. Ours got broken this week and what a tragedy because I had no idea I was such a floor lamp snob. I went to three different stores and couldn't find a single one that I like or fit my budget. My current budget being virtually nothing. My current tastes being incredibly expensive.
On the way home I wished my brain was a computer so that I could make notes in my head while driving (or doing many other of my daily tasks) and actually be able to recall them later. Having babies steals your brains people! I thought of some things I needed to put together for my settlement proposal. Of course, now that I am at home at my desk can I remember what those things are? No. It's so bad that when I went the grocery store I made a mental note on my way in to pick up something but by the time I'd walked to the dairy aisle I couldn't for the life of me remember what it was. I bought 2 creme eggs and gave them to the H man when I got home, but I'm sure that wasn't what I was supposed to remember.
When I pulled in the driveway at home I paused before getting out of the car to sing along with the radio for a few minutes. While I sat there I closed my eyes and had a brief moment of panic that the world disappeared. When I opened my eyes it was still there so I tried closing them again and the panic feeling was there. Even though I had my keys in my hand and could feel the steering wheel I still thought everything was gone.
Somedays when I get home from work, Monk is in his room napping. I have to actually open the door and see him to convince myself that he is actually there. I wish I could stop thinking like that. I know these moments of unecessary panic are shortening my life.
How's this for ego, I hate myself and yet I often assume that things outside my visual range no longer exsist?
posted by Dealing with it at 9:38 PM
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